Escrito por Cronos el lunes, 30 de agosto de 2010
Un analisis rapidito. Comenzaré por exponer una serie de datos basicos.
Tengo 36 años.
El primer recuerdo que tengo de estar enamorado es de alrededor de los 13 años. Por supuesto, de esa manera tan particular en la que se enamora uno con 13 años, claro. Por redondear, y por dejar de lado fascinaciones de crio aprendiendo como funciona el juego -no porque no las valore, que lo hago y mucho, sino por dejar un cierto margen amplio en los resultados del analisis-, situaré la fecha de inicio del estudio alrededor de los 16. Por lo tanto, el tiempo de referencia que tomaré serán 20 años.
Bien, en ese tiempo puedo decir que me he sentido "acompañado" en hasta 4 periodos (espero no molestar a nadie con esto). Dos de dos meses, uno de nueve, y otro de 3 años y medio. Y de nuevo estoy siendo generoso. En total, cuatro años y medio, menos del 25% del tiempo marco.
Además, en ese tiempo, me he enamorado en mayor o menor medida, y siendo conservador, en alrededor de 20 ocasiones. Probablemente han sido mas, pero bueno. De esas 20 ocasiones he sido correspondido al menos parcialmente, como ya dije en el parrafo anterior, 4. Y de nuevo, soy generoso. De nuevo, alrededor del 20%.
Aun con toda la manga ancha que dejo en los resultados, objetivamente, estamos hablando de porcentajes relativamente bajos.Y claro, es estadistica. En la estadistica no dice, por ejemplo, que en esos 20 años he estado hasta 8 consecutivos completamente solo (8 años son casi 3000 dias con sus noches). O que en hasta 16 ocasiones (en realidad son mas) me he enamorado sin ser correspondido. Y por si alguien lo dudaba, cada vez que esto sucede, en lugar de ser todo mas sencillo, es al reves. Cuanto mas viejo mas me cuesta dejar atras sentimientos. Por otro lado, he aprendido a protegerme, a ser precavido, a intentar no vivir de ilusiones o de fantasias y vivir de hechos... pero no siempre sale.
¿A que viene todo esto? Simplemente, me gustaría que se entendiese que ciertos mensajes del tipo "ya veras como la cosa mejora", "ten fe" y cosas por el estilo son complicados de asumir internamente. Por criterios objetivos, ojo. Y si, se que en realidad lo mas util para mi mismo es enfocar asi las cosas, lo intento, y lo consigo mas de lo que pudiera parecer. Pero no, facil no es. Si fuera facil estaría solucionado, os lo garantizo.
Ah, y tambien tengo claro que todo esto, de manera inintencionada es obra mia, y por lo tanto, mi responsabilidad. Trabajo en ello todo lo que puedo. El grado de exito no es el que desearía, supongo que estaré haciendo millones de cosas mal.
Entiendaseme, no pretendo con esto practicar la autolamentacion, en realidad no estoy en ese estado. Solo intento que se vea que determinados mensajes pueden ser sumamente dificiles de asumir -y rondar lo ofensivo cuando van acompañados de actitudes perdonavidas- al pasarlos por el tamiz de lo experimentado. Para mi, y para muchos otros.
56 Comentarios
Enviado por
Yosi_
el jueves, 1 de enero de 1970
Pues hombre, es que las cosas no mejoran, y quien lo afirme miente (casi siempre con una buenísima intención, eso sí). Mejora uno mismo y, con suerte, mejora la capacidad de asumir que los altibajos muy raramente escapan a una impecable precisión estadística. No obstante, raramente somos capaces de percibir una media superior a lo normal, salvo cuando la cosa empeora y cae por una u otra razón, así que nunca he creído que sea bueno tratar de darse crema planteándose la inminencia de lo positivo. Es mucho más realista y provechoso evaluar lo contrario, todo lo que podría ir absolutamente mal y sin embargo se mantiene en niveles soportables, a veces incluso disfrutables. No es poco, ni siquiera es menos, sencillamente pasa más desapercibido y poca gente anima a centrarse en ello, porque es más vistoso incitar a esperar el premio gordo de una lotería que, por lo general, nunca llega.
Enviado por
Sumiciu
el jueves, 1 de enero de 1970
La valoración del éxito es algo muy subjetivo y muy marcado a un momento. Haciéndolo bien no tiene porque salir mal y saliendo mal, no tiene porque salir mal; aunque haciendolo mal tambien puede salir mal...de hecho hay cuestiones de las que sólo nos acordamos cuando truena, pero siempre están ahí. Quiero decir que la causalidad en esto no la tengo tan clara en estos términos. Y probablemente haya que trabajar mas a menudo lo que se hace mal y no cuando hay problemas y ya no nos quedan salidas por la tangente (modo autorreproche off)
Por cierto me has recordado una canción de los suaves del ultimo disco que echa unas cuentas parecidas...lo digo porque es curioso ver que cuadran las cuentas de todos..., quizás haya sintomas de los que nos apropiamos, lo digo por aquello de ajustar el diagnostico.
Realmente esos mensajes de lo que hablas son formulas con las que alguna gente simplemente pasa de largo y otra intenta transmitir un empujon, quizás lo más correcto en ese caso sería simplemente decir "adelante", las curvas hay que ir trazandolas una tras otra...
Enviado por
Cronos
el jueves, 1 de enero de 1970
Ays, como se nota quien me conoce por escrito y quien no. (y vosotros, sois del si). Lo digo porque alguno se me mediopreocupo al leer esto... xDDDDDD
Yosi, no se porque tengo la sensacion de que has mandado a tomar por el culo a alguno a raiz de algo parecido, y mas de una vez. Es una sensacion, amos, pero...
Sumi, no he hablado de causalidades. Se que tiene que ver mas cn la casualidad (al analisis me remito). Lo puñetero son esos "ya veras como". No, mira, ver ya llevo visto mucho, y joder, hay lo que hay. Cuando lo vuelva a ver, me lo creere, hasta entonces, la fria estadistica es una buena herramienta pa no lanzarse de cabeza a precipicios. Que un uno en un d4 no es un mal porcentaje exactamente, pero tampoco es pa echar las campanas al vuelo. xD
Joño, no conocia ese tema de los suaves. Buscarelo.
Las frases en cuestion (hay una buena lista de ellas, supongo que las podras suponer) son frases hechas, claro. Pero hechas para otros. xD
Enviado por
Sumiciu
el jueves, 1 de enero de 1970
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TmG5flKh8E
Enviado por
Slagator
el jueves, 1 de enero de 1970
Hombre, ni tanto ni tan calvo.
Las cosas pueden mejorar, o no. Obviamente la promesa de que todo va a ir a mejor es una falacia buenrrollista que a veces no hace más que entristecerte más. A veces necesitas más un poco de comprensión, y para eso necesitas que el otro crea en tu desesperación, no que te la pinte como una ida de pinza pasajera.
Cómo te vayan las cosas depende por una parte de la suerte, por otra de los que te rodean, y por otra de ti mismo.
Al final tu vida es la interacción de esos factores y algún otro que seguramente me esté dejando.
No te sé decir si has tenido mala suerte porque no conozco biografías sentimentales tan a fondo, y la mía ni siquiera me la he llegado a plantear en profundidad.
Te podía haber ido peor. Pero cómo te haya ido hasta ahora sólo en una pequeña medida puede considerarse una señal de cómo te irá a partir de ahora.
No esperes ilusamente, pero tampoco pierdas la esperanza.
Enviado por
Cronos
el jueves, 1 de enero de 1970
"No esperes ilusamente, pero tampoco pierdas la esperanza".
Ahi estamos. :)
Enviado por
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