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Escrito por na el martes, 21 de marzo de 2017

Desde que tengo uso de razón, uno de los roles que he asumido, en grupos muy distintos, es el de persona conflictiva.
Eso, cuando el conflicto era pequeño y seguían considerándome persona.
Si insistía lo bastante y cruzaba el límite, lo cual era frecuente, bien por ignorancia y/o reactancia, pasaban a considerarme una persona estropeada.
Tarada.
Loca.
En el momento en el que dejo de considerarme enferma y me posiciono en la diferencia, cuando dejo de someterme a tratamiento y me coloco en el lugar en el que decido estar, cuando suelto la enfermedad y la moral, me transformo en el enemigo.
Y la hipocrita lasmitita que sentimos por la enfermita, se transforma en odio visceral ante quien percibe, muestra y traspasa conflictos intolerables.
Intolerables en mi y en el resto.
Hablemos de lo que hablemos, repetimos lo mismo cuando nos quedamos sin argumentos.
Me costó entender porqué evitamos el conflicto.
Y porqué gastamos tanta energía en ocultarlo y reprimirlo.
Porqué tratamos de despojar de su dignidad a quien una y otra vez nos muestra lo que negamos.
Lo que niego en mi y en el resto.
Y así seguimos larvando los holocaustos cotidianos.
Llenando el vaso.
Cueste lo que cueste y a costa de la salud, de la verdad, de la justicia...
A costa incluso de la vida.
Reflexionando sobre el funcionamiento de los grupos en los que he participado y mi trayectoria en ellos, me doy cuenta de algunas cosas que siento que tengo la necesidad de compartir.
Cosas que dinamitan todo lo que creía.
Otra vez.
Me doy cuenta que algunos conflictos pueden hacer que el grupo se rompa.
Y por eso, evitamos a las personas conflictivas y las excluimos.
Para mantener la integridad grupal.
Aunque sea de mentira.
Es un mecanismo de defensa porque una sola persona conflictiva puede destruir un grupo entero si no se le para a tiempo.
¿Qué hacer con todo esto?
¿Qué hacer en asamblea donde cada vez que se tocan temas conflictivos ciertas personas desviamos la atención boicoteando e impidiendo el desarrollo del libre albedrío humano.
Bien porque no lo toleramos, bien porque tenemos intereses egoicos (conscientes e inconscientes) en el juego.
Desde lo humano no tengo respuesta. Ante lys perturbadys, ante lys adictys, ante la histeria colectiva.
Convulsion de repeticion, sí, pero... ¿por qué?
¿Qué hay detras de todo este velo?
Tan solo puedo exponer mi caso:
Estaba poseida.
3 Comentarios

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